EP 115: "Healing After Loss: Gretchen Starnes on Grief, Hope, and the Gift of Life"

Episode Summary

In this heartfelt episode, we sit down with Gretchen Starnes, Family Aftercare Manager with Network for Hope (Louisville), an organization that also supports families after the loss of a loved one through organ donation. Gretchen shares the deeply human side of her work—walking with families through the grief process, offering comfort, connection, and compassion in the wake of profound loss. We explore how the gift of life through donation can bring a measure of hope to unimaginable sorrow, and how Gretchen and her team help families navigate that journey with care and grace.

✨ Episode Highlights

• Gretchen Starnes discusses her role as a Family Aftercare Manager at Network for Hope.
  
  
• She describes the Aftercare Department’s mission to support donor families and ensure their needs are met with compassion and understanding.
  
  
• Gretchen shares her personal journey, beginning as a Family Support Worker and transitioning to Aftercare, highlighting the critical role of empathy in her work.
  
  
• She reflects on working with grief and the full spectrum of emotions that come with it, reminding us: “There’s nothing wrong with you when you’re grieving.”
  
  
• Andi asks Gretchen about the myths and misconceptions surrounding grief and bereavement support.
  
  
• Gretchen explains that support systems often fade after the first year of loss and shares her experience that, for many, the second year is even harder.
  
  
• The organization offers 15 months of ongoing support through mailings, in-person meetings, and online resources.
  
  
• Families find healing and comfort in sharing stories, memories, and legacies of their loved ones.
  
  
• Donor families play a vital role in encouraging and supporting newly bereaved families through direct connections.
  
  
• Gretchen talks about the emotional challenges donor families face when reaching out to donor recipients and how the organization offers guidance through that process.
  
  
• They reflect on the powerful impact of the Holiday Honor Walk, which brings donor families together to foster connection, support, and healing.
  
  
• Gretchen emphasizes the importance of saving lives through organ donation and the value of being surrounded by a strong, supportive community.
  
  
• She also highlights the importance of self-care, a healthy team environment, and emotional support to navigate the difficulties inherent in this deeply meaningful work.
  
  

📝 Key Takeaways

• Gretchen Starnes shares insight into her work as a Family Aftercare Manager at Network for Hope and the organization's mission to meet the needs of donor families with compassion.
  
  
• She and Andi explore the realities of grief, the range of emotions involved, and the common myths and misconceptions about supporting grieving families.
  
  
• Gretchen explains how donor families approach donor recipients and describes how the donor community's connection fosters healing, hope, and resilience.
  
  

📢 Tweetable Quotes

"I think that is the honor that all of us in aftercare have, to walk beside these families during their grief and really establish rapport and relationship with them."
— Gretchen Starnes

"Doing this work really restores my faith in humanity."
— Gretchen Starnes

"There's nothing wrong with you when you're grieving. What you need is someone to walk beside you, to help you take that next breath, the next step, and to help support them."
— Gretchen Starnes

"One of the greatest fears for most people who are grieving is that people will stop saying their loved one's name, or that they will forget those details of their loved ones."
— Gretchen Starnes

"There are moments it's okay to be sad and where we need to cry, and tears are cleansing. Yet we also want to show that hope that comes from the amazing gift that loved one gave, so I think the Honor Walk kind of brings all of those things together."
— Gretchen Starnes

Resources:

https://getoffthelist.org/

https://www.networkforhope.org/

https://www.networkforhope.org/about-us/

https://www.facebook.com/NetworkForHopeOPO

https://www.youtube.com/@NetworkforHope.

https://aopo.org/